How fast time flies. It was only yesterday that I was busy preparing my son for boarding school life.
He didn't want to go. I didn't know. He was too polite or too scared to tell me. But every time I asked him to help me get things ready, he would make excuses. I thought he was just being him - always making excuses not to do the things I tell him to do.
We travel so much for work, leaving him with my in-laws on most days. He complained to his counselor that mummy and Abah are always busy. It makes me feel sad. We work hard because we want to give him a good future, insyaAllah.
It was much later that I found out that he didn't want to go but adjusted himself to boarding school life because it's what mummy and Abah wants. That made me even sadder.
I wanted it for his future. I thought sending him to boarding school will give him more opportunities for a better life.
I didn't want him to feel abandoned whenever we had to go outstation.
I pray that we had made the right decision.
I cried every night after sending him off. I still do, even till now, especially on days when he doesn't call to tell me that he is ok.
I worry about him all the time.
I want him to come back and stay with us but I don't want to regret making that decision either.
It's an ongoing conflict within myself.
He seems so distant now, being a teenager. He doesn't like us to remind him of things to do. I don't want to argue with him when he comes home for short holidays. I want him to remember the good times.
I hope that one day he will learn to appreciate us.
I hope that he knows that we love him very much, and only want what's best for him!
He will always be my baby, no matter what age he is, today, tomorrow and forever.
;)
