Someone once said to me that some, or was it most, problems of the world originated from good intentions. Ironic, isn't it? How can good intentions create problems? It does......
I wish to recall an experience I went thru slightly less than 30 years ago (don't try guessing my age! LOL! *wink*) when I was in secondary school. I met a girl whom I had clicked almost from day one that I met her in Form One. I can't say why or how we clicked, but we just did. We did everything, well, almost everything, together. Tea breaks or recess time, as what we call it in school, extra curicular activities, gossips and what not, everything. We were like going everywhere together, as the malay saying goes, "macam belangkas". People started calling us twins, though we are of a different race. It did not matter to us. The friendship was strong, that nothing would break us, or, so I thought. She was a prefect though, while I was just an average student. Heheh....I was a late bloomer! LOL! *wink*
So close we were that for her birthday, I wanted to surprise her with gifts. The year before, for my birthday, she had bought me gifts. You could only imagine my excitement! *wink*
I only met her after her birthday the year before had already passed (she was a January baby). Despite being good friends, I can't exactly recall why I never knew of her birthdate prior to her birthday. Maybe because she never told me? I never told her my birthdate either, but she got it out of my sister.
So, for her birthady, I decided to get her something too and surprise her. Not knowing the date, I asked her sister who was also schooling in the same school. Her sister gave me the date with no problems. In fact, she told me what her sister likes.
I made big plans, well, by a school girl standard, that is! LOL! I bought her a couple of gifts, I can't quite recall what, but, I also bought her a small cup cake so that she can blow a single candle. I was excited all week, and can't wait for the day to arrive. When it finally arrived, can you guess what happened?
I don't think I ever expected what was going to happen next. My dear friend blew her top! She was mad that I had known the date of her birthday. She said that it was a secret, and no one should have known. She said that when she gave me presents for my birthady, she wasn't expecting me to buy her anything in return. She doesn't like her birthadys to be celebrated!
How am I to know? I was only 14 then. Her sister never said anything about her not wanting people to celebrate her birthday. In fact, her sister said that to surprise her would be a nice gift, and very thoughtful.
I was shocked by my good friend's reaction to my good intentions. How could this be happening? I was very saddened by the turn of events. I apologized over and over again if remembering her birthday had offended her instead of making her happy. I treasured the friendship so much, I consulted her sister and ask that she speak to my good friend, and to ask for her to apologize on my behalf when my own efforts failed.
Her sister could not believe either how a good intention had actually taken a turnabout reaction from her sister. The sister tried, but to no avail. It saddened her (the sister) too. My friend refused to talk to me. She would rather break the friendship than forgive me. It took me a long time to come to terms with what had happened. We were in the same class, and sat next to each other. But, since that incident, she sat elsewhere. I was hurt. Those that knew of our friendship were all surprised, but they just shook their heads, not knowing how else to react.
I moved to another school the following year when I was offered a place in a boarding school. I asked for forgiveness one more time before I took my leave, but, she refused to even look me in the eye. I moved on...
To this day, I can still recall that incident. Sometimes, subconsconsciously, I would be asking myself how is she doing now, how many kids she would have by now, and where would she be living.
I still wonder to this day, how a good intention could have gone awry.....I guess I will never know the answer......
I wish to recall an experience I went thru slightly less than 30 years ago (don't try guessing my age! LOL! *wink*) when I was in secondary school. I met a girl whom I had clicked almost from day one that I met her in Form One. I can't say why or how we clicked, but we just did. We did everything, well, almost everything, together. Tea breaks or recess time, as what we call it in school, extra curicular activities, gossips and what not, everything. We were like going everywhere together, as the malay saying goes, "macam belangkas". People started calling us twins, though we are of a different race. It did not matter to us. The friendship was strong, that nothing would break us, or, so I thought. She was a prefect though, while I was just an average student. Heheh....I was a late bloomer! LOL! *wink*
So close we were that for her birthday, I wanted to surprise her with gifts. The year before, for my birthday, she had bought me gifts. You could only imagine my excitement! *wink*
I only met her after her birthday the year before had already passed (she was a January baby). Despite being good friends, I can't exactly recall why I never knew of her birthdate prior to her birthday. Maybe because she never told me? I never told her my birthdate either, but she got it out of my sister.
So, for her birthady, I decided to get her something too and surprise her. Not knowing the date, I asked her sister who was also schooling in the same school. Her sister gave me the date with no problems. In fact, she told me what her sister likes.
I made big plans, well, by a school girl standard, that is! LOL! I bought her a couple of gifts, I can't quite recall what, but, I also bought her a small cup cake so that she can blow a single candle. I was excited all week, and can't wait for the day to arrive. When it finally arrived, can you guess what happened?
I don't think I ever expected what was going to happen next. My dear friend blew her top! She was mad that I had known the date of her birthday. She said that it was a secret, and no one should have known. She said that when she gave me presents for my birthady, she wasn't expecting me to buy her anything in return. She doesn't like her birthadys to be celebrated!
How am I to know? I was only 14 then. Her sister never said anything about her not wanting people to celebrate her birthday. In fact, her sister said that to surprise her would be a nice gift, and very thoughtful.
I was shocked by my good friend's reaction to my good intentions. How could this be happening? I was very saddened by the turn of events. I apologized over and over again if remembering her birthday had offended her instead of making her happy. I treasured the friendship so much, I consulted her sister and ask that she speak to my good friend, and to ask for her to apologize on my behalf when my own efforts failed.
Her sister could not believe either how a good intention had actually taken a turnabout reaction from her sister. The sister tried, but to no avail. It saddened her (the sister) too. My friend refused to talk to me. She would rather break the friendship than forgive me. It took me a long time to come to terms with what had happened. We were in the same class, and sat next to each other. But, since that incident, she sat elsewhere. I was hurt. Those that knew of our friendship were all surprised, but they just shook their heads, not knowing how else to react.
I moved to another school the following year when I was offered a place in a boarding school. I asked for forgiveness one more time before I took my leave, but, she refused to even look me in the eye. I moved on...
To this day, I can still recall that incident. Sometimes, subconsconsciously, I would be asking myself how is she doing now, how many kids she would have by now, and where would she be living.
I still wonder to this day, how a good intention could have gone awry.....I guess I will never know the answer......
No comments:
Post a Comment