Friday, June 01, 2007

Heartsick................

It's a sad week for me this week. I am feeling heartsick, very heartsick.

Early this week there was a promotion excercise for Technical Assistance (TA) Grade J29 to fill up post for Grade J36. It seems that all the other TAs (their close friends of the same ranking and grade) got their promotions except for my two TAs, and they have blamed me for their failure to secure the promotion. There are only 8 permanent TA Grade J36 posts and about another 10 posts on a contract basis for one year, but those who applied for the posts were close to a hundred.

According to them, they failed to secure the positions because their marks were not high enough despite my high recommendations. It seems that the other bosses had given their TAs very high marks (above 95%, some even close to 98%) regardless whatever their performances may be, whether good or bad. I, on the other hand, go by the book and give them marks according to their performances, which is still relatively high (above 95%), since they are two of my very high performing staffs.

However, this year, upon the instruction of the DG's office, we were told to give marks no higher than 93%, with only 10% of the total number of staffs getting marks between 91%-93%, which brings down to only 2 people from my office able to get marks between 91%-93%. I had wanted my Architect and a Draftman who have been performing very well last year to get the High Achievement Awards (Anugerah Khidmat Cemerlang) this year, and thus, I gave those two staffs the high marks, pushing my two TAs to get marks below 91%. Alas only one was given the award as the final prerogative to who shall get the award is left to the Director, as he also has to consider staffs from other units too for the awards. My giving high marks to my Architect and Draftsman costed my TAs their promotion, so it seems, according to them, because their marks were not as high as the other TAs whose bosses just ignored the instructions to give marks no more than 93%.

I am a person who goes by the book. I don't know how not too. My conscience wouldn't be clear if I go against what my boss had instructed me to do. I would have thought that other bosses would have done the same thing too, but, alas, others just ignored the instructions just so that their staff will get their promotion, regardless if they perform well or not. From what I gathered, those who got the promotion weren't even as good as my two TAs combined, but because of their high marks, they were offered the promotion. *sigh* The people handling the promotion did not even bother to steamline the marks based on their actual performances. They just took whatever marks were given in the appraisal report without even looking at the amount of projects each person is doing and the recommendations written by the bosses.

I am feeling very heartsick. My TAs have said that I have failed to do my job as a boss, for I have not been considerate enough to give them high marks. They fail to see my reasons that I was just following instructions. They felt that if other bosses did not follow instructions, why should I be the only one following. They fail to appreciate that before this, in the last 5 years that I have been their boss, I have always given them very high marks. It is just most unfortunate that, because of the intruction from above, and because I am a person who goes by the book, their marks went down. They are very upset with me. They are very mad with me. In fact, they hate me, as they had said that they can't wait for me leave the office to go to my new position next month. To make things worse, they have influenced the other staffs to not work as hard anymore, telling them that it makes no difference to their future. I am very sad......

The office has been quiet the last few days since results of the promotion came out, with most of them putting on a silent protest, refusing to do work, or simply slowing down their work to show their dissatisfaction and in support of their peers. *sigh*

I am feeling heartsick. How can I make them understand management stuffs and decisions and challenges that I have to go through each day to try to manage projects, while trying to manage the staffs and office matters as well. They refuse and probably don't want to understand. All they see if that I have failed them and I have failed as a boss................

1 comment:

Emily said...

Stand your ground! Look at the woman in the mirror. Bit by bit, changes will come.

Hey Nik, dont loose heart, they are looking at trees while you are guarding the forest!

Gosh, I truly can sleep well, knowing that you are at work!