Yup, that happens – my best friend visiting me at odd times of the month, going havoc with my body – whenever I am undergoing an unusual stressful time, and this week is one of those times.
One of the many reasons, and the biggest reason, why I am very upset this week is because I got a letter from SPA (Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam) denying my appeal to backdate the date of my confirmation to the date when I got promoted, as opposed to six months later, whereas my other two colleagues’ appeal was approved.
I think my biggest upset was not so much that my appeal did not get through but more because of the fact that I did all the paper work, did the submission, and all the running around, but a friend who just came to sign the papers got his appeal through, but I did not. Had all 3 of us did not get the appeal through, I would still be upset, but not as upset as him getting and I did not when I did all the hard work. *sob*
It started with only me and another female colleague, but, as we thought that this male friend is also in the same boat as us, we thought we’d get him to join us in our appeal too, to make our appeal stronger.
He agreed, but did nothing to help us. My female colleague and I did most of the work, with me doing all the running around to get the all information as basis for our appeal. When it was time to sign the papers and send it off to SPA, the male colleague just came to put down his signature and left. I and my female friend went over to send the papers in.
I know that it is all `rezeki masing-masing’, but I could not help feeling upset, and very sad by this turn of events. Like I said, had all of us not got it, I would have still felt upset, but I don’t think I would have cried pails of water if not for the fact that I did everything and yet, I was the one being denied the appeal, whereas the other two got approved.
I called SPA to inquire why my appeal was denied, but I was not given a satisfactory answer, and could still be contested (on reasons of my PTK results, performance report and many others, which I am just at par with those who got their confirmation backdated). But, when I asked if I could re-appeal, I was not allowed to as they said that the committee’s result is final. Uurrghhh!
The officer who answered my query tried to pacify me by saying that I have to accept the fact that this time it might not be my `rezeki’, but, insyaAllah, there will be other times when it will be my ‘rezeki’.
I cannot argue with that statement, but still, it does not make me feel any less upset. It is a process (feeling upset, down and miserable) that I will have to go through and with time, will pass, before I will be able to calm down and accept that it is all fated, and believe in Allah that He has other better plans for me, insyaAllah.
I can only hope and pray............