I hope that my character have grown richer with each crisis that I have had to go through, especially in my career in the last 4 years. My weekends have never been the same since my Director chosed me to head the Design Team for the mega project in Terengganu 4 years ago, and now as a Project Manager for quite a number of projects that seem to constantly hit the spotlight in recent months.
I have blogged about this before, but to those of you not in the know, when I became a Project Manager 8 months ago, I was given projects by other Project Managers which they could no longer handle, and, as fate would have it, they were projects that came with liabilities - it had problems attached to it, some right from day one.
I was just only learning the ropes of becoming a Project Manager (PM), but, before I could even have time to learn how to crawl, I already had to learn how to jump. The day I took over as a PM for one of the projects, it ran into problems, which I was told that the previous PM knew it was going to be a problem, but never took time to oversee it, I already had to act fast and make decisions, which I myself wasn't even sure if that was the right thing to do. But, after much consultation with the experts and my boss, I survived that first day. Thank God.
When I was handling the project in Terengganu, my weekends were short as I had to be in Terengganu every other Sunday through Monday. There were some weekends that I was in Terengganu every Sunday. Though I had gotten used to it already, I still missed my Sundays with the family, and I must thank my hubby for his patience.
Eversince I became a Project Manager and was given a handphone by my department so that I can be reached 24/7, I wouldn't be exaggerating if I were to tell you that I am on call, like a doctor, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Even doctors get some days off after being on call, but I don't.
My phone has rung in the wee hours of the morning, throughout the weekend, and on some days, non-stop on days when my projects hit the spotlight, and for reasons that is not even due to what I did or did not do, but due to ignorance of people who brings up matters to the higher up or to the media for whatever agenda that they might have, without actually doing their proper homework, or getting their facts right. That frustrates me.
I have done reports after reports. I love to write, but now I can no longer find ideas on what else or how else to write my report as it seems that it's the same thing that is brought up over and over again. Do they actually read the reports that I do? I can only wonder.......
These people are either very ignorant, very blur, or simply, very........st*&#@d!
Despite it being the weekends, or whenever I am on leave, I realised that I am not very relaxed, as I sensed that the phone might ring at any time from my boss or from someone higher up, and I cannot not answer them. I have a sense of responsiblity to answer that call and to try to solve whatever crisis that comes my way, but, for how long can I go through this? For how long can I take this? My management capabilities are constantly being challenged.
With each crisis that I have had to go through, I tell myself that they are tests from God to see my strengths and weaknesses. I take every crisis that comes my way positively and see it as an opportunity to learn.
Just yesterday I managed to catch quite a number of episodes of Commander in Chief played brilliantly by Geena Davis as the first women President of the United States. Hallmark ran a marathon of the episodes the whole day yesterday, and I was glued to the TV almost 3/4 of the day yesterday, or course in between doing my household chores. LOL!
Geena Davis, inspired me, or, rather, her character as the first women President of the United States, inspired me. She ran through many crisis, but she managed the crisis well, with advice from people close to her, who she can trust.
I hope to be a women of substance just like her character. But, for now, I can only hope that the storm will die down quickly, and the sun will shine brightly very soon, and I can come out to play smiling.
I can't wait for that day, although I know that I might have to weather many more storms before I will get to see the bright sun.
I just hope that it will come sooner..... and I pray that God will give me strength to go through this crisis, and I hope that I will come out stronger and become a better person.